Deja vu all over again
As a 50 something divorced woman the idea of pairing up again is often on my mind. In today’s modern world of the web, internet dating seems to be the best option for me. I am not a novice at internet dating, I’ve been playing that game on and off for almost 6 years. That said I’m not sure that I’ve mastered the game yet since I still remain single.
A few weeks ago I decided to return to the online dating world. For me this return didn’t mean just jumping on and putting out my ‘shingle’ so to speak. I spent some time carefully crafting my profile, brainstorming about a username, and getting some photos taken by a friend who is a photographer. In additional to all of this prep work I had to do a mental prep- I had to prepare myself for rejection, weird messages, and bad dates. To me, online dating is a numbers game. The more people I communicate with lead to more dates. The more dates I have the better my chances are at finding a partner. Sometimes though the messages I get from the members and the dating apps make me wonder, ‘WTF am I doing here?’
Really? I need a ‘boost’ to get noticed? If 13682 singles are online right now and half of them are men that means I am competing with 6840 other women? If I don’t pay more money than the $25 3 month membership fee (a rate I only got because I had a Groupon) I am relegated to the ‘back of the line’? Nothing like feeding the low self-esteem levels…
Then there are the incoming messages. The other day I received, “I want to tickle you till you pee a little. Haha”
What? Really? Is that supposed to be a turn on? When I read that do you think I want to rush into your arms? Or even meet you for coffee? I take note of your profile photo and vow to memorize it. If I ever see you out on the street I believe I will walk, no RUN in the other direction…
On another day I received a message from a fellow with the user name, ‘eyesforyouthecat’ (what does this mean) who stated that my profile was ‘wonder filled’ and he would like to meet for coffee to chat. While I appreciated the compliment and I would usually be open for coffee, when I looked at this man’s profile I couldn’t help but thinking that something looked familiar. His photos looked familiar and the text in his profile was familiar. I quickly realized I had actually met this man for coffee once last summer (during my last spin with online dating). At that time his user name was something like, ‘lightmyrocket’. So I informed my feline-eyeball communicator that I remembered him from our meeting at a coffee shop but that at that time he had a different name. I figured that pointing out this fact would have him realize we had met and gone our separate ways. That was not his plan. Instead, he wrote back checking to see, ‘Are you sure we’ve met? I don’t remember you.’ He then informed he was not allowed to use his old username anymore so he had decided to use a username assigned to him by the dating app. The dating app assigned him ‘eyesforyouthecat’? Seriously? I spent my time brainstorming on a username, getting feedback from my friends, meditating on the name and he…used something the app assigned to him? Not only that but the dating app assigned ‘eyesforyouthecat’? WTF?
I ensured him that yes we had indeed me and shared with him a few of the facts I remembered about him from our coffee encounter. I apologized for not remembering much and then stated, ‘But hey, you don’t even remember me so I think I’m doing pretty well don’t you?’ I realize I was a bit cheeky but my hope was to sending him packing. No such luck. He actually asked if he could meet me for coffee AGAIN. Realizing that my past attempts at brushing this guy off had not worked I went for a new approach. I have not written back. I’ve noticed him lurking- he’s viewed my profile a few times since then but I have remained quiet in hopes he will slink away and REMEMBER me for future attempts at coffee and conversation.
I guess I should be grateful for these connections. I’ve sent out my own witty comments on the profiles and pictures of men online (No I have not offered to make anyone laugh until they pee- perhaps I should?) and many of my messages have had no reply. Crickets. Nada. Nothing.
So…it’s still early in this round of online dating. I remain hopeful and optimistic in spite of the oddballs and no shows. Stay tuned as I continue to search and perhaps a more exciting story will open up online…