Finding my Truth

Remember back in the day when I started teaching yoga?  I was so excited.  I had lots of plans.  I was making yoga posters right and left to advertise my weekly classes.  I advertised my yoga as “Yoga for Every Body.”  This tagline implied that anyone of any shape and size was encouraged to attend my classes. I was still on Facebook at the time, and I advertised my classes on Facebook.  I even added a yoga page to my website where I publish my blog posts.  If you wanted to find out about my yoga class, you could check out that page.  I made my classes donation based.  As I said on my website, “No one should miss yoga because they can’t afford to pay for yoga.”  I started teaching at a studio where I paid the rent for my one-hour class.  I didn’t work for anyone.  I told my friends about my in-person class (because no one used Zoom in 2019 for yoga, right?) and waited for the yogis to show up.  

My first class, I had seven students.  The next class, I had nine! Even as a donation-based class, people were very generous.  I thought, “Wow!  I might have to pay taxes on this stuff!  It’s a new career!”  The next class, I had seven again.  The next class, I gave away chocolate (it was Halloween), and the theme even involved chocolate.  Eight folks showed up for the goodies.  If more people had known I was giving out Dove squares, they might have come.  My next class, I had three students.  My next class, I had one student.  I was embarrassed.  I felt ashamed that I only had one student in my class.  What happened to all those other students?  Did they decide I was a bad teacher?  Should I make my class free?

I had to go through some soul searching when I had the class with one student.  I came to the conclusion that I was teaching yoga to teach yoga and that was all.  I wasn’t teaching yoga to make a career out of it.  I had retired from a career.  I wasn’t teaching yoga to make a ton of money.  Heck, I wasn’t teaching yoga to any make money at all.  I was teaching yoga, because I loved the practice of yoga.  I was teaching yoga, because I wanted to encourage other people to do yoga.  I wanted to encourage those who might think their bodies are not right for yoga.  I wanted to encourage those who might think you had to pay a lot to do yoga.  If that meant one person showed up, that was okay.  I was still filling my heart with the the activity I loved.

After that day, more people showed up for my class.  Then Covid happened.  Suddenly, I couldn’t teach in a studio anymore.  At first, I thought I would stop teaching.  Then I discovered Zoom.  Now, as long as I am home, I teach on Zoom.  Over the past two years, I have had a time or two that no one showed up for yoga.  That was okay.  I still held the space for anyone who might show.  I even taught on Zoom last spring from Lake Tahoe when I visited a friend there.  During the summer, I simulcast; I teach on Zoom while I teach live in the park near my home.  As a result of teaching on Zoom, I have students who attend from around the US.  It’s also an opportunity for me to see friends who live in other places.

In March of this year, I started teaching at a yoga studio again.  I still have my donation-based Sunday morning class.  The studio I started to teach at has fixed fees for classes.  The studio owner has her own expectations on how classes should be run and advertised.  I respect that.  That is her way of running a business.  I am fortunate that I teach yoga out of my own heart’s joy for yoga without worrying whether or not I can pay the bills with my yoga income.  I figure with the money I make from teaching yoga, I can get a few mani/pedis in the year.  Maybe I will buy lunch for friends.  

Here’s how my yoga classes went at the studio: 

My first class, I had two students.  My second class, I had seven students (it was during a promotion); my next two classes, I had two students; then I had one student.  Then I had three students and then one again.  I was disappointed but not discouraged.  I had been through this experience before.  It takes time to build the yoga class enrollment.  Starting in the studio this time however, some things were different.  I don’t use social media anymore, so I couldn’t advertise on social media.  I would not be able to use social media to share what my in-studio class was about.  I don’t advertise my in-studio class on my website.  

The other day, the owner of the studio called me.  She told me that she was cancelling my class for that day.  She said that only one student had signed up for my class.  She said it didn’t pay for her to compensate me when only one student was coming.  I felt bad for the student who was going to lose the opportunity to attend a yoga class.  Still, I understood why the owner chose to cancel the class.  I understood that the yoga studio is her income source.  It isn’t mine.  I recommended that I provide posters for her to put on the studio’s Facebook page, so I could build the student base.  She didn’t want to use them; the studio page has a certain aesthetic that my posters didn’t follow.  She recommended that I update my website and add the value of coming to her studio to take my classes.  I didn’t like that.  My message of “Yoga for Every Body” includes all bodies and all wallets.  I didn’t feel comfortable advertising a class that might be out of the price range for some of my students.  Was that fair?  I mean, I was willing to teach at the studio and take a paycheck, but why wasn’t I willing to recruit students who would pay for the classes there?  I don’t remember having to recruit clients in my other jobs.  That was never part of my job description before.

In that moment, I realized the space wasn’t right for me.  By teaching there, I was stepping away from my own energy of teaching for the sake of practicing yoga and sharing it with the world. I was stepping towards seeing how many people I could charge to do so.  I wasn’t interested in doing that.  So I stopped.  I’m not teaching at that studio anymore.  

This past Sunday, I taught my regular Zoom yoga class.  I felt relaxed and engaged.  As I taught, I felt connected to my passion and my students.  I didn’t worry if I was meeting the financial requirements of someone else.  I didn’t worry if my message was appropriate for anyone else.  

I realize that I am very fortunate.  I am fortunate to have retired when I did.  I am fortunate to be able to teach yoga on my own terms.  So I want to share my good fortune with the rest of the yogis out there who want to hang out with the Rocky Mountain Yogi Girl.  I would like to believe that even if yoga was my livelihood, I would still leave the studio, following the path that I believe in. I’m glad I figured out what’s right for me.