The not quite best summer ever
Three years ago (almost to the day) I wrote a blog entitled, “The Best Summer Ever”. I generally try to stay away from superlatives because they always (there I go again with a superlative though) seem to get overridden by something EVEN better. I always thought my 40s were the best years until I got into my 50s. I always thought living in North Carolina was the best until I got to Utah. I always thought popcorn was the best until I tried Fiddle Faddle. Well, you get the idea.
When I wrote my “The Best Summer Ever” blog post it really was a spectacular summer. There were waterfalls, trips to the ocean, family visits, parties, outdoor concerts and movies, more sun, more connections. I still look back on that time with fondness and fun.
Now we are in a new kind of summer. The summer of COVID. Will there be only one “Summer of COVID”? Who knows. When quarantine hit the change was quite sudden, at least for me. One week I was buying necessities for a six week trip to Asia that was scheduled to start in eighteen days. The next week I was eating my last meal inside a restaurant. The week after that I was stuck inside my house attending Zoom yoga classes, Zoom Buddhist meditations, and Zoom writing workshops. My life had become virtual and my circle of in-person connections had shrunk to my daughter who had come to quarantine with me and That One Guy (TOG).
I thought, “Oh, this will only be temporary. Maybe a couple of weeks. I can take my Asia trip next year. Maybe I can even take some of it in the late summer. Because by summer this will all be over. Heck by the end of May this will all be over.”
I started teaching my own yoga classes online. I theme my yoga classes and I decided to start teaching about the Chakras. There are seven Chakras and I figured after seven weeks of yoga the world would be right again and I could head back to the studio to teach. There was a benefit of teaching on Zoom - besides for the Zoom corporation who are making a mint from all the online activities I attended. I was getting more students from around the USA vs. the Salt Lake Community that were attending pre-COVID. But the in-person energy that my yoga classes had pre-COVID was gone. I can’t really see my students on the Zoom screen so I can’t do much to assist them. And of course on Zoom you have the option of blacking out your screen so some of the students I couldn’t even see.
When the seven weeks were done I was still clinging to that hope of “temporary” but the yoga studios weren’t opening. I was able to teach my classes outside however. Now I get to see my students live, in the open air. There are definitely less students since I’m now isolated to the Salt Lake community. There are also folks in Salt Lake who are apprehensive about coming and meeting outside. I respect that. Even with my new smaller yoga attendance that in person connection is so valuable! My first class outside was a beautiful day (my birthday!) and being able to connect with everyone in-person brought me so much joy! My gratitude for seeing those faces and being with those bodies was overwhelming.
Some of my other activities are now live: both in-person and outdoors. I study under a yoga teacher who is offering one class a week live. Similar to teaching yoga this opportunity to study yoga is beautiful and heart-filling. I so look forward to our Wednesday afternoon classes- even as the heat is rising. I find my heart full and my eyes clouded with tears as the class ends. That simple connection of bodies in the same space as we navigate our connection to ourselves for an hour is so uplifting. I’ve never felt so much gratitude for yoga classes as I do in the moments of those outdoor classes.
One of my communication groups now meets live outside in my backyard. We met a couple of times on Zoom - actually I think we were meeting weekly or bi-weekly. Just having a connection was so important to us. Having a space to let our feelings out during the challenging times was so valuable. Now it’s an extra treat to meet outside in the backyard. Again being in the energy with each other having a safe place to share our emotions and needs together is so very valuable. The gratitude I have for these friends seems like an endless overflowing fountain. I grow more gratitude each time we meet.
Like that summer back in 2017 I have had many opportunities to hike this summer. Hiking has always been special to me but now it’s even more so. When I connect with nature I am reminded that through COVID the mountains that surround me remain a constant. As my feet touch the ground I feel my interaction with the earth. The earth knows no COVID. The flowers still bloom, the leaves are still green, and the birds still chirp. The consistency of the earth’s summer keeps me grounded and grateful. I can’t imagine what it would be like if the earth had COVID. If the trees died, the sun stopped shining, or the warmth went away. I feel more grateful for the summer than in summers past. Just knowing with all of the inconsistencies and unknowns of my life and the lives of others on this earth my corner of the earth remains beautiful and summery. When I am out on the trail I can forget there is so much uncertainty actually going on in my world. I find when I am headed out on the trail pathways I don’t want to turn around and face reality.
With so many of my plans cancelled and so many other possible plans to be made not happening I am spending more time at home noticing the space around me. My garden is especially beautiful this summer. With less time to frolic I have spent more time tending to roses and other flowers, making time to cut off the dead heads. I’m starting to get fruit in my garden and tomatoes on the tomato plants (those are fruit too). I’m tending more to these beautiful food bearers and benefitting from the harvest. Again I am so grateful! Those things that had become more of a passing event in the summer are now front and center to my life. Every morning I partake in a watering ritual, examining each plant and pruning it, tracking my tomato plants’ output for reference for when I choose plants for next year.
One of the beautiful parts of my summer has been a fountain that TOG built for me in my backyard. We started building the fountain in the early spring as an idea of something to do with our time while we sat inside barred from stores and restaurants. Now it’s become a meditation spot that attracts birds and bees alike. The flora that has grown around it adds to the beauty of the fountain and the scents mix with the sound of the splashing water. At any point in the day I can retreat to my backyard and find peace in this new and beautiful space. I am grateful for this oasis in the middle of my yard.
I have been able to do some outdoor dining. The restaurant less than a block from my home is offering outdoor dining four days a week. A group of friends meet on Friday evenings in the park to social distance and eat their own picnic meals. We can sit and chat outdoors and enjoy each other’s company. It is a treat to see these friends that have been either on the phone or Zoom for a few months. Gathering together seems that much more special because we can actually gather together in person instead of just virtually.
My adventures aren’t quite the same. There has been no travel for me outside cars or TOG’s RV and I haven’t left the state. There will be no ocean this summer and I don’t even know if I will go swimming. That said I have been to the desert to see vistas I’ve never seen before, and fished in a beautiful lake where I connected with the sunrise and the joy of just being outside. After 57 years on the earth I took my very first mountain bike ride this summer. I traveled on a trail I’ve hiked many times yet it all felt so different on the seat of a bicycle. Even with the assuredness of being on the trail so many times before riding on the bicycle allowed me to sense the rocks, the drop offs, and a new speed of travel. It was exhilarating, exciting, and scary. A big thanks to TOG for joining me on the journey. I don’t think I would have taken my chances going it alone. It was an exercise in the present moment. I had to keep focus on the little bit of space in front of the wheel and not worry about the trail far ahead - or even the drop off to my left. I enjoyed it so much I went again with another friend on another trail. I trusted her to take me to a space that would feel safe and still get me out of my comfort zone for a bit. As I drove away from the trail site I felt so alive! I felt exhilarated, proud, and connected to the world around me.
I’ve been fortunate enough to have some family visits this summer. While my daughter left just as summer was starting I did get to enjoy the outdoors with her while she was here. We often took mid morning walks (now in the heat of summer I think this would be challenging). I got to see parts of my neighborhood I had never explored before. We got to discuss our feelings and dreams in ways we had never done before. Since she left for college and now for “life” we hadn’t spent more than a week at a time together. While she quarantined with me we were back connected again and with only each other to entertain us for most of the days. Shortly after she left my oldest son came to visit and that was magical. A week together with no one having to work and lots of the outdoors to explore; we enjoyed each other’s company. Again it was the first time in a long time that we were able to spend so much time together. My gratitude was immense. I also had my nephew and his girlfriend and dog visit me this summer. It was a treat to have someone who I don’t see very often come visit. During an ordinary summer this visit would be special but adding to it that I have been unable to see any extended family since last fall (since I didn’t think twice about seeing anyone because I figured I would just go out and visit them when I felt like it) this visit during this particular summer was a special treat. Again my gratitude seemed to pour out of me as I spent time hiking, dining, and chatting with these folks (and feeding carrots to their dog who was very happy to receive them).
I still spend time on Zoom. Everything has not opened up so I am certainly not going everywhere I used to. Even places I could walk to like my yoga and Buddhist Sangha studio are closed. These places do exist virtually however. I still attend Sangha gatherings online. I used to host a coffee discussion at a coffee house. Now we meet on Zoom with the benefit that you can imbibe in any drink you want 🙂. Like my virtual yoga classes these gatherings can be attended by anyone around the globe. So I’ve made friends with people who normally would not have been able to join us for our coffee gatherings. Similarly, my Sangha is offering a morning meditation every day. These drop in meditations have allowed me to connect with my community in ways I never had before. When we met in person once a week there were over 100 of us in attendance. I knew the people who sat by me quite well. I knew some of the other Sangha members pretty well. Now, when we meet to meditate together we have a more intimate gathering. I think the most Sangha members I’ve seen attend a meditation has been nine or ten. When we finish our meditation and share our thoughts and feelings I have been able to enter the hearts of some new friends I had never really known prior to COVID. I’ve found connections where I never knew they existed.
So, it is true, this summer has not been the “Best Summer Ever” that 2017 was. It’s still good though. It’s even better than good. This summer has shown me the gifts that summer can be. I was locked up very briefly for less than 100 days and I’ve been able to get out now and explore the unique space that is very close to me. I’ve allowed myself to enjoy on a smaller level and become grateful for the things very close to me. I believe I am learning that sitting with everything, both the good and the bad, makes life even richer than if I am just chasing the good. I still miss travel, seeing my extended family, hugging people that are dear to me. I live with hope in my heart that I will one day have that opportunity again. In the meantime I am learning to embrace the special things that I do have in my life this summer, and not only have gratitude for them but also gratitude for my healthy life that still continues.