And the adventure begins...
As of this Monday I will be officially semi-retired. This journey started a long time ago. Perhaps it started in 1986 when I got my first professional job. Perhaps it started when I moved to Utah and discovered that the mountains share a part of my soul. Perhaps it was when I started my current job at a company where they encourage employees to follow their personal goals. I took their word to heart and here I am.
More specifically over the past year I’ve been listening to my heart more than I have in the past 52 years prior. Actually, I can’t say that. What I will say is that I’ve been listening to my heart more than in any of the years I can remember. I would like to believe as a young child I let my heart guide me. Sometime this past May I started to listen to what my heart had to say- I didn’t want to make my career (or at least the career I’ve been following for 30+ years) to be the goal of my life. I wanted something else that felt heart opening. I just wasn’t sure of what it was.
Gradually my time at work was feeling like I was being dragged along. I was there on autopilot. The voices in my head kept telling me I was obligated. I am a role model for my children. I am a successful professional- that means high marks in performance reviews, strong work ethic, and 40 hour work weeks. All of that? It really sucked.
Over the summer I came to terms with the fact that I wasn’t happy anymore. But quitting my job? Changing careers? That seemed terrifying. All the traditional signs (see above) told me not to take any leap. Finally, I called my financial advisor and said, ‘Can I do this’? Actually I asked him about financial solvency if I was working part time or retiring.
He loved the challenge figuring out the feasibility. He started creating reports for me that showed the chances for solvency if I partially or fully retired, what I would have to cut from my budget (or not), and how it would impact my lifestyle. Now I would armed with all the financial information to allow me to make my decision. With all reports returned they showed…I could easily go to part time and I could probably even fully retire with little or no impact to my lifestyle. So now, what could hold me back?
My mind. Fear. What would people think of me? What kind of person leaves a decent job? How would I be perceived at the company if I go to 3 days a week? What will my manager say if I ask? What if he says no- then will he think I’m a slacker? These thoughts ran through my head at the same rate as the thoughts of, ‘why am I still working here every day?’
Finally, FINALLY, I got up my nerve. I created the compelling story for what I wanted. I didn’t even have a why. I figured if they asked I could always say, ‘I want to go to yoga teacher training’. That’s true, but I don’t have that in the immediate timeframe. If you know a good program let me know. I’m all ears.
So the nerve turned out to be the hardest part (you all knew that anyway didn’t you?). My boss had no concerns with meeting my request. Within 2 weeks I was approved and next Monday I will be starting my 3 day weeks. ‘What will you do with your time?’, people ask. I want to give them a Tug McGraw answer, ’Ninety percent I’ll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other 10 percent I’ll probably waste’. Now granted he was talking about World Series winnings (and me I’m more of a Malbec drinker) but it’s the same idea- does it really matter? It’s my time and I get to spend it any way I want. That, is the most exciting and scariest part. But really it’s fun scary. I will get to discover me and what makes my heart happy. That is the best adventure of all.
And one last thing...thank you to all of you out there who've been listening to this story for so many months. Your encouragement and patience, your helping me see the good in me has really made a difference.
Into the mountains I go. To lose my mind and find my soul.