A Little Space
Back when I was a kid, I had my own space for my own stuff. Starting around 3 years old, I remember having my own room. Here I stored my bed, my books, my toys, and my clothes. At some point, I got a wicker loveseat for my room. Other than that, my stuff pretty much took up the space of my room. Sure, I had a bathroom that had my toothbrush, eventually some makeup and other personal toiletries, but essentially I didn’t take up a lot of space.
When I left home for college, I had even less space in the dorms. I took what was important for me and left the rest at home. Sometime in the transition from college to apartment life with my husband (I married 3 weeks before college ended), I collected some of the things from my parents home that were mine and moved them into the apartment. I remember moving from college. I had a suitcase or 2. I shipped a box or 2 of books and a footlocker. I thought that was a massive amount of stuff. Ha! Little did I know what I would soon have.
My husband and I moved many times. We married in 1985, lived in 2 apartments, and then bought our first home in 1987. I remember the move into that house. It seemed ENORMOUS. It took just 1 or 2 van loads (not a moving van, just a large personal van that could have seated 10 people if it had seats) to get everything we owned into the house. I walked through empty rooms thinking, “We will never fill this house.” But one thing I’ve noticed about space: when you have it, you fill it. In the 6 years we lived in that house, we managed to fill it with stuff. The last year we lived there, our son was born so we managed to fill the house with his stuff too. Babies have a lot of stuff.
When we moved to our next house, it was smaller, about 800 sq. ft. smaller. Still, we managed to cram much of what we had into that smaller house. I think we must have stored a lot of things in the basement. After 2 and 1/2 years, we moved into a smaller space, a rental property we lived in until a house we were building in Charlotte, NC was finished. For that move, we stored a lot of our things in a storage facility while the house was being built. While waiting for the house to be built, we had another kid. So more baby stuff to go with the bigger kid stuff. Still, this new house was our biggest house yet; I think there was a little room to grow. Thank goodness! Because a little more than a year after we moved into that house we had another baby. So much stuff!
We lived in that house a good 6 years. During that time we accumulated lots of stuff. Of course, we got rid of things too. With no one under 4, we didn’t need baby clothes or baby toys. We got rid of our own old clothing and broken items. Books that didn’t matter anymore and old outdated electronics went the way of Goodwill, friends, or the trash. Still, we kept the house pretty well stocked with stuff.
Then in 2001, the family moved to England. US electronics weren’t going to work there. We took some transformers for some of our items (stereo, small kitchen appliances, etc.), but the rest we sold off. Additionally, the new house was half the size of the one back in Charlotte. So many things got shuffled into storage. We expected to be in England for 4 years.
Sadly, our time there ended in less than 2 years. So back we came to the US. While waiting for the items we had taken to England to arrive, we brought our storage things into our house. We were surprised to see some of these items. While it seemed a little like Christmas, it also seemed like Christmas from that aunt who gives you an ugly sweater. After almost 2 years without some of these items, we couldn’t figure out why we would want any of them. It was a good lesson in being more aware and present with what we had. We didn’t have to have so much stuff. Or did we?
We soon moved again to a big house in Ohio. Then there was a bigger house in Ogden, UT. As we moved into these homes, we found the need to fill them. We found the need to get more stuff. Was it really a need or just a desire to not have blank space?
By 2015, I was an empty nester. The house in Ogden echoed. Even though the rooms were full, I didn’t need all of that space. Plus to me, Ogden was boring. (Sorry to all you Ogden lovers out there.) I decided to downsize and move to SLC. I picked a new home: a house at least 1/3 smaller than my Ogden home. It was an opportunity to get rid of stuff; an opportunity to cull what I needed and get rid of the rest. I kept telling myself, “You don’t want to pay to move something just to get rid of it.” Still, I brought a lot of my Ogden home to my SLC home. The new home had lots of built-in cabinets. I wanted to fill the cabinets!
Upon my arrival in the new home, I realized I had brought too much to SLC. There was art I didn’t want to hang on the walls anymore. There was furniture that looked to big against the walls. Over the last 6 years, I’ve removed more items from my home, and I’ve replaced larger things with smaller ones. I feel comfortable in my current home. I have decorated and painted in ways that I enjoy. I feel that I’ve created my own sanctuary.
As I mentioned in my last blog post, for the Thanksgiving holiday week, I traveled to the East Coast. I visited Maryland, Philadelphia, and then NYC. I went to stay with my daughter in NYC in her new apartment. Real estate in NYC is ridiculously expensive by SLC standards. My daughter is fortunate enough to afford a one-bedroom apartment. She recently moved from Milwaukee. There her apartment was HUGE by NYC standards. To move to NYC she had to get rid of a lot of her stuff. Still, she has many of her things in NYC, and she purchased some new items that would better fit the new apartment space. I joked that she put her Milwaukee apartment in the wash and it shrunk. I commented that I couldn’t imagine some people living in such a small space. My daughter asked, “What about you mom? Could you live in such a small space?” That got me thinking. Could I live in such a small space?
When I got home to SLC I looked around the house. Obviously, the entire basement with 2 extra bedrooms, a bathroom, and a big gathering room would have to go. But upstairs where I live most of my life, so much of that would have to go too! I would have to get rid of more than half of my bedroom furniture. I still own the master suite I had when I was married. Half of the pieces I barely use. But still, there would be clothes, blankets, and linens to get rid of. I would have to choose between a dining room table, a couch, or 2 cushioned chairs. The desk I type my blogs at might not fit. Both the coffee tables are way to big for that apartment. I couldn’t have a set off old frying pans and new ones. All the stuff! Memorabilia from trips, glass art I have made, vases, items that were my parents - these would all have to go. There’s a large china cabinet that I inherited from my parents. Either I would have to not have seats in the apartment or that would have to go. Oh wait! What about all the art on the walls! How would I pick which of those pieces were the dearest to me?
Honestly, I don’t need all of this stuff. While the house doesn’t look crowded, it’s okay to be a little empty. Maybe during these next chilly weeks, I will take a little time to get rid of what I don’t really need.
